Metaphysically Wrinkle-Free Since 1982

GROW UP

2011-07-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned, I've recently come to realize the joys of job security with recently becoming permanently employed with the police service. It is surprising how much relief comes with knowing you don't have to worry about contracts and the giant boulder of unemployment hanging over your head, ready to drop at the first sign of recession. One of the beauty things about my job is that law enforcement is not an industry that will be going out of business any time soon.

The realization that hit me yesterday is that this is no longer just a job. This is a life and a career. What made me realize that so intensely? RRSPs and Pension plans.

A one hour meeting discussing my enrollment in the police pension plan, followed by talk of mutual funds, RRSP contributions, and life insurance knocked the point home. I found it slightly ironic that within 2 weeks of getting on permanently, we were talking about retirement. 30 years. Wow.

So now, after having slept till 11:30, while sitting in my apartment surrounded by half made paper monsters, drinking instant coffee out of a kitten-decal mug, preparing for a day off playing MarioKart in my pajamas...I am reading about whether I want to go with an Asset Allocation Fund or if I should build my own RRSP portfolio. Further, I have been trying to figure out what kind of investment style I have, if I'm prepared to take risks with my investments for higher gains.

There are pie charts.

I like pie.

In the words of the great sage, Jack Handy, "when you die, if you get a choice between real heaven and pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It may be a trap, but if it's not mmmmmmm pie".

Oh yeah. I'm totally ready for RRSPs.

Where to begin...

2011-07-01T08:32:00.001-07:00

6 months since the last post. I'm not very good at this blogging thing.

At any rate, what a half year!! Anything before March, mind you, is not worth mentioning. It was a scary and hurtful three months that I'm happy are behind me. We'll leave it at that.

My roommate is nothing short of amazing. The last 4 months have been hilarious, and I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend to live with. And it's only going to get better from here. She is a lovely, caring, and strong person. We're both making a fresh start, living here, and she is the perfect person to move forward with. I'm so excited for all the things in store for her, and all the positive changes and events that have happened already.

Work went from great to amazing. There is something to be said for job security, and as of one week ago, I now get to enjoy the sense of relief that comes with knowing my job isn't going anywhere. Moving from contract to permanent is a huge load off my shoulders. It is also strange, in the best possible way, to be thinking now of a career rather than a job. That was the mentality I had going in back in November, but now it seems so much more real. There are still some things to get used to, office dynamics, work related stress, career path planning. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the reality of working in law enforcement and the reality of society and people. That will be for another post though.

As already mentioned, I had a visit from a very special someone:

Over the week we had together, we went on a harbour boat tour, something I've never done despite living downtown for years! It was a very new perspective on the skyline and the city, and you know, Toronto is a good lookin' place!

We revisited all our old haunts, Hemmingways, Korean BBQ, Shanghai Cowgirl, Horseshoe. All were just as we left them, and all were amazing. It was probably the company, though.

Naturally, we made our usual zoo trip. Always a good time, and this time, no 3 hour transit trips to get there! The simple joys that a car bring.

We drove out to Niagara for a couple of days. Unfortunately, the riches we had planned to win didn't quite come to fruition, but breaking even is a close second. A slow drive through wine country and Niagara on the Lake topped off the last day. It was an amazing way to end a too short visit. A vacation in a vacation.

For now, gentle readers, that will have to do.

Once again, I promise more regular updates.

Quarterly mass update

2011-06-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

Best week ever.

Having a just one week to spend with my best friend and single most important person in my life was not nearly enough time. But we made the most of it. Despite the 20 month absence, it was like nothing had changed from the moment we met up. And boy oh boy did we cram a whole bunch into one short week!

I miss him already.

2011 = seriously excited

2011-01-27T14:54:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of reasons I'm extremely excited for what 2011 has in store.

I'll start with this one:

A certain favourite Irishman (favourite human being ever actually) has indicated that a visit MAY be in the works in the upcoming months.

Just the notion of this as a possibility excites me more than I can express in a blog.

I've never missed anyone so much.

I'd post a favourite picture of us, but I value my friendship with him too much.

2011-01-27T14:47:00.000-08:00

Why hello friends!

It seems I have been neglecting my poor blog. So, my precious readers (all two of you), here is your much anticipated update.

My new job is wonderful. Working for the police has certainly been a change of pace, as well as a sombre eye opener to the realities of the world around me. At no point have I been totally oblivious to the imperfection of the city I live in, and surrounding area, but I never realized how much actually happens here. No different from any other city or region, seeing the things that happen behind closed doors and hearing the stories they keep from the news creates a new respect for everything I have, and for how dangerous the world can really be.

On a lighter note, I've made some wonderful new friends, and one in particular who has proved to be a great support and beautiful person to have in my life. It will be disappointing when we are put on different platoons...i dread.

Many other things are in the works, but I don't want to leave myself with nothing to say in more posts!!

Stay tuned.

New....

2010-11-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

everything!

New job starts Monday.

New car in the next week.

New start!

Fall changes....

2010-10-24T21:59:00.001-07:00

As I ambiguously pointed out in my last post, change is in the air. Well, now seems an appropriate time to explain...

I FINALLY got word on Friday that I got the job at the Waterloo Regional Police I've been waiting 7 long months for. 7 months is a long time to be left in anticipation, in case you've never experienced such an agonizing wait, or if perhaps you don't function using a standard 12 month calendar.

With that news comes several other update worthy changes. First, I am getting my first car in less than 2 weeks. I feel equally excited and anxious for this, as it feels like a responsibility I have successfully dodged for about 12 years. That being said, I already have plenty of road trips lined up and waiting! Niagara on the lake is the first on the list!

I'll be ending my tenure at the Bauer Kitchen in the next while as well. I think I will try to stay on 1 or 2 shifts a week as I start with the police, just to give myself a small financial buffer I deal with the new responsibility of automobile ownership. That being said, if i start to find that I am too worn out to cope with life after a few weeks I will leave the restaurant with ease!

Finally, I've decided I need to invest. In lots of things. But mostly in the dreaded "market". This, THIS, is the most terrifying new part in my life. Money scares me. There, I said it. So appointments with investment people are arranged and someone else gets to handle my money. I'm sure even a one eyed monkey could do a better job with my finances.

I feel like I've gone from 0-grownup in about 10 seconds.

Some un-police-job related news:

-I've ditched contacts for glasses. Permanently.

-I think I will be switching to a vegetarian diet in the next couple of weeks

-I have started another blog, something more professional in nature, for the World Religions Educators Network. Its intimidating.

-My apartment looks like an autumn wonderland. Lots of red leaves everywhere. Even with my twig-vase.

Phew. That was a long one.

Autumn arrives

2010-10-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

Oh hey.

Its fall.

Fall is the season of change.

And change is certainly in the air.

2010-09-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

I was looking through a book I read during my MA today, planning on re-reading it this week. I tend to mark up books, write notes, and underline important things to return to later.

For some unknown reason however, I found a drawing of a very tiny horse in one of the margins.

I wish I knew why.

Wondering...

2010-09-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

On what could have been the eve of a terrible event in American history, the so-called "International Burn a Qur'an day", I'm left with a mixture of absolute relief that it has been avoided and confusion surrounding both the coverage of the story and those involved.

Any person, regardless of religious orientation, who sets out to deliberately do harm to another person, their beliefs, or their way of life, or their religious leanings, is in my mind a viscously hateful person.

In the case of the small church in Florida, the Pastor, a religious leader, someone who holds a certain level of influence over a sensitive area of the lives of his follows, urged his 50 congregents to meet on the anniversary of 9/11 and burn Qur'an's. The influence a religious leader has over his congregation, in any denomination or religious faith, is a precarious and powerful sort. For a leader to openly encourage hatred, is to fill the followers heads with hatred and a misguided sense of purpose, a holy purpose, as directed by the person they trust with their spiritual well being. By using the guise of religious justification to promote such hateful ideas, is to play upon the deepest insecurities and fears of those who turn to religion for comfort and direction.

What is equally troubling to me, is in the coverage of this event this group and this particular Pastor were never portrayed as the "poster-children" of the Christian faith. It was widely recognized that this was an extreme and unacceptable sect within Christianity, and that the views of this one extremist in no way reflects the beliefs of the whole Christian community. Further, much attention was paid to those standing in opposition, speaking out against the actions of the few. On the flip side, when the religion in question is Islam, and the monsters behind hateful crimes align themselves as Muslim, they become representative of the entire faith. No voice is given to the millions of faithful Muslims who are speaking out against the extremism, who take a stand against intolerance and violence, and who condemn those who commit the crimes in their name. Instead, we are lead to believe that the actions of the few represent the whole.

This unilateral reporting offers no way out of the cycle of misunderstanding and intolerance. It breaks my heart.

2010-09-05T11:59:00.001-07:00

Bad news folks.

I just learned that our galaxy is on a collision course with the Andromeda galaxy.

So in a mere 4 MILLION years we will take part in a galactic trainwreck of doomsday proportions.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Tell your mom you love her. This is it.

Science?

2010-09-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

Watching the National Geographic Channel's "The Known Universe". Now I'm no scientist, so perhaps someone can correct me, but I'm quite sure that the following is not particularly scientific:

- "If an asteroid were to come near us, you might as well bend over, grab your ankles and kiss your ass goodbye" - speaking in purely 'scientific' terms here.....

- "There are a million, or a billion, asteroids out there" - they are clearly completely confident with their calculation here to limit the wiggle room between their numbers.

- "If you had a time machine......" - this appears to be the beginning to many scientific hypothesis'

- "The last time earth faced this threat was 65 million years ago. Does that mean you should lay awake at night worrying? Well its enough to say it happened once, it can happen again" - get in your bunkers! hide your children! SAVE YOURSELVES

- "How will we save ourselves from an asteroid? Former astronaut 'Rusty' thinks he has the answer....a gravity tractor" - thank god we have 'Rusty' working for us.

-"This is called a 'gamaray-burst', doesn't sound particularly scary, but its one of the few things in the universe that gives me the heeby-geebies" - heeby-geeby is a scientific measurement, much the same as 'millions or billions'.

- "If this acrylic ball is earth, and this smaller ball is an asteroid, and we shoot the smaller one from a high powered machine at the larger one, we can assume that the impact would be the equivilant of a larger object traveling at a slower speed" - i...don't understand science, obviously.

Fall's a-comin!

2010-09-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Labour day weekend, and it already feels like fall. Wonderful, glorious fall. My favourite season by a long shot. Hopefully the humid days of summer are behind us, but the frigid days of winter are a long ways off.

Feeling the brisk air and cool breeze immediately conjures images of fall jackets, snappy scarves, and riding boots. My hardly worn white cashmere scarf with embroidered zebras is screaming to be worn on a day like today. Even with nothing pressing to do, and no where to go, a casual stroll uptown might be necessary!

Some people live for the summer; I dream of fall.

Oranges..

2010-08-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

Oranges are one of those foods that are certainly best left to be enjoyed in private.

Despite their deliciousness, eating them when anyone else is in the room is, at best, hideously unattractive.

There is no ideal way to approach consuming an orange. Either you peel frantically at the fruit until its a mess of rine and pitful looking segments, each one a reminder that getting to the point of eating that orange has proved to be more work than its worth; or you (like me) choose to cut the orange into seemingly manageable quarters, each one to be enjoyed without the aggravation of 30 minutes of peeling for 2 minutes of eating.

Despite what would appear the simpler solution, of cutting the orange rather than peeling it, one is still faced with the awkward problem of eating those quarters. Rather than delicately enjoying each piece, no matter the method you choose to approach it, you always end up looking like ravenous dog attacking a piece of raw meat. Hunching over a plate, or napkin, while ripping at the edible bits and simultaneously trying to prevent the juice from running down your forearms and chin, is akin to some sort of primeval knawing at a hunk of meat in a feeding frenzy. Complete with the uncomfortably loud slurping and juicy-fruit-sounds that go with it.

All that being said, oranges are so delicious...in private.

image from http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2008/jun/02/week

Wish upon a shooting star....

2010-08-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I saw 2 shooting stars, thanks to the perseid meteor shower happening up in space right now. I've only ever seen one once before and it was years ago.

While sitting outside, watching for meteors, I found myself thinking about all the instances we are told to "make a wish" and hope that it comes true. Birthday candles, 11:11 on the clock, shooting stars, eyelash on a finger tip, and I'm sure there are many more. In the rare instances when we do catch a glimpse of a shooting star, do we feel awestruck on some level? Is that why it becomes an opportunity to make a wish, because in our awestruck state we may hope that someone will here this wish and answer it for us? I think wonder and awe are quickly being replaced by scientific explanation and mathmatical rationality, and without some sense of wonder in our lives, we are slowly losing our creativity and hope.

So, when we find ourselves watching a meteor shower, with no fancy equipment to help, just standing in a field with our eyes on the night sky, we are quietly reminded of what it feels like to be amazed. That alone, is a wish coming true.

I miss...

2010-07-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

the zoo

Art days

Family jamborees

This girl

did i mention the zoo...

I'm restless.

Weird facts about Moose

2010-07-22T22:56:00.001-07:00

Because you've been dying to know.

The following is a small sampling of the oddity that is my cat

-he enjoys sucking toes

-he also enjoys sucking his own tail, and/or back paws

-he can hear food from a range of 2 rooms. any food.

-if you have any type of chocolate pastry, beware.

-he becomes easily overwhelmed with excitement, resulting in him falling over.

-he never lands on his feet. most often, he can land on his side. even from small heights.

-he can be found most times of the day in the nest he created in our store room. yes, a nest.

-he fights air. and loses.

-the scariest thing in the world according to him is a single leaf of lettuce.

-hiding in a $1 canvas bag from the library is akin to heaven.

-he dislikes pens.

i'm sure more will come to mind. stay tuned

G20

2010-06-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable what's happening in Toronto.

It breaks my heart to see people acting in such a way.

For all the legitimate concerns that come along side the G20 summit, the absolute fucking morons who turn to unnecessary destruction and violence undermine everything anyone hopes to accomplish.

Breaking the windows of shops and cafes...tell me, what does that accomplish? Take your sorry attempts at hiding your inadequacies somewhere else.

I thought we were better than this.

All moved in!

2010-04-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

The apartment is semi-completed, and we are back amongst the connected world.

Its been almost 3 weeks and I still can't believe I live here. Not to say I came from some slum or anything, but comparatively speaking, my old apartment doesn't come anywhere close to the new place. Most importantly, I have a washer and dryer IN THE UNIT, which means no more treks downstairs only to find out that the one set of machines available in a 16 unit building is being used, and some poor sap who didn't quite make it to their wash in time is now facing a floor full of freshly washed clothes. It really is the little things that make the difference.

To sum up the apartment: 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom; 1325 sq feet (!!!); 2 walk in closets, storage room, laundry room, granite countertops in the kitchen, fireplace, balcony, brand new carpets, and a 7th floor view.

Decorating the new apartment has been nothing but fun. Its amazing to start from scratch and build up everything as you go. We still have more things to hang and a few more things to buy, but overall it is shaping up to be a dream.

My next project is the Phd applications. I am applying for a January start at McMaster, and all my fingers and toes are crossed that it will pay off. I belong in the academic world. Being away from it feels awkward and unnatrual. I'm feeling unsettled with my lack of momentum forward in my working life. It'll come though. Everything else finally feels amazing, that I know it will come.

Reality

2010-03-11T11:11:00.001-08:00

I was in Chapters today and saw a whole spread of coffeetable books on cats, and how "wonderful cat ownership is".

I'm going to start my own coffeetable book about what owning a cat is really like.

Friday night

2010-02-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

I've recently become slightly infactuated with the band Mumford and Sons. If you haven't heard them, you need to find them and love them.

This record in particular has caught my attention.

As a NOVICE banjo player, and an admitted banjo obsession, this band has everything I'm looking for in new music goodness. In particular, the combo of some amazing banjo playing and a stand up bass makes everything a-ok.

I have also been informed that I am the only person on the planet still buying CDs. I am uncool in so many ways.

2010-02-07T14:51:00.001-08:00

I may have found a temporary solution to my need for inspiration. And it is in the form of this website.

I want to redecorate my apartment so badly. I've been feeling pretty restless here lately, always reorganizing and cleaning, but never particularly satisfied with how it turns out.

Hopefully I'll find something to point me in the right direction! Until then, I'll just spend the hours dreaming of design and art I find on the world wide web.

i miss good books.

2010-02-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

I haven't found a book that inspires me lately, and its getting me down.

I just spent 3 hours in Chapters looking for something interesting to read, something captivating, something that is impossible to put down. I came home with a Jamie Oliver cookbook. While I appreciate the lovely photos and the potentially delicious food that I could soon be enjoying, it is not quite the literary work of genius I have been looking for.

Where are the Henry Millers of our generation? Where are the great masters who leave you hanging on their every word, wanting to re-read every page, every sentence, to make sure you take in all that they have to offer and more.

I need more of this in my life:

"Everyday we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shootes which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all apart of creation, all kings, all poets, all muscians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there." Henry Miller "Sexus"

2009-11-10T18:22:00.000-08:00

I may or may not have just bought a guitar.

This is getting out of hand.

2009-10-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Ronan for reminding me to post about this wonderful man!!

Honestly, check this guy out on Youtube. Well, first, go buy a ukulele, then learn 200 songs by Ukulele Mike. This guy is a legend.

Maybe not a legend persay, but he should be. One day.

2009-10-31T09:13:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to post this last night, but I didn't get around to it. Sorry you, gentle readers, who had to suffer through the anticipation of what was coming.

For quite some time, while listening to bands and artists I admire so much, I found myself longing for some musical talent of my own. Choosing the banjo may have been an odd choice for a novice such as myself, but I figured, if you're going to learn something might as well be something you like!

More recently however, I decided to pick up a ukulele for fun. What began as a $25 joke, has now turned into a full blown obsession. It remains safely next to me at all times when I am home, either on the couch or on the table. Without even thinking about it, I find myself picking it up and breaking into a rousing rendition of Harrisburg by Josh Ritter.

I think the draw of the ukulele is that it is so simple to play. Chords are easy to learn, everything is within reach, you're never straining that much to get all your fingers on the necessary frets for a good sound. And lets be honest, its just plain fun. Unlike the banjo, the uke offers quicker results, boosting the fragile musical ego of someone such as myself.

But don't worry (as I know you are) I haven't given up on the banjo! I just use the uke to trick myself into thinking that I possess some sort of skill, then I go back to the banjo to be reminded that I have a long way to go to musical stardom.

I think we all know the only possible solution to this problem:

BANJOLELE!!!

Christmas is coming....hint hint hint

one small step

2009-10-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

The slow road to banjo mastery continues.

Trying to memorize and learn chords and patterns is not exactly the best way to learn, as it prompts something more like mind numbing boredom.

Instead, the discovery of a wonderful website called Chordie.com has changed my learning curve dramatically. Find an artist, find a song, then be amazed at the world of musical versatility that opens up for you!

Most impressively, when you find a song you want to learn you can change the tuning to whatever stringed instruments you want, which will provide you with which chords to play with lyrics and where to find those chords on the fretboard. Basically, its a little slice of magic. If magic comes in slices that is.

And man o man, there is quite the selection of songs!! Check er' out y'all.

2009-10-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

While I'm no where near ready to put down my banjo, I've added the Ukulele to my tiny collection of random musical instruments.

The weirdest part of playing both the ukulele and the banjo is that after a good uke session, the banjo seems impossibly huge and all out of proportion. Its a struggle to get my hands to work properly. Then vice versa. At least i know that I'm going to have to pay equal attention to both!

The accordion, on the other hand, remains firmly locked away. Absolutely no interest there.

On a somewhat unrelated note, Tom Waits is releasing a live album on Nov 24. I can't wait. Thank goodness there was a free 40 minute preview. I love that man and all his musical brilliance. Its inspiring. I think you should buy it. That's right...YOU.

2009-09-14T17:39:00.001-07:00

September is off and running!

Its hard to believe its the fall already, not that our summer was that noticeable!

My autumn has already kicked off with some big changes. The best of all is the apartment re-fresh that happened this past weekend. New furniture is in, and old furniture is out. My apartment suddenly looks so much bigger and brighter. Thankfully rid of the dark red hues, in favour of much lighter browns and greens. Very earthy and soft, I'm in love. Still on the hunt for a new coffee table, but it has to be just right! Pictures to come, i promise...

Fall fashion will be all about black leather riding boots, bomber jackets and skinny jeans. I found my dream boots today, and it all fell into place. Bring it on autumn weather!

I'm still no banjo expert, but I am making progress. By Christmas I'll be ready to rock out.

Feeling good about the next little while.

Hopefully I'll manage to stay on top of the posts this time around!

2009-09-01T18:02:00.000-07:00

Back on the banjo-wagon!

After a far too long hiatus, I've rekindled the fire of my banjo addiction.

More to come...

moose!!!

2009-06-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

This is The Moose.

'nough said.

2009-04-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

Oh Easter!

The strangest of all holidays. Bunnies, chocolate...and one 2000 year old dead son of God. Interesting dynamics. Maybe Jesus has a sweet tooth and a soft spot for small woodland animals? Though I don't remember that part of the bible myself, something could have been lost in translation.

At any rate. We celebrate. Turkey dinners, chocolate rabbits, marshmellow chicks, and easter egg hunts. My little sister was apparently more concerned with the finding and hiding of eggs, then the eating of chocolate. I believe it was an all day affair, of re-hiding and re-finding eggs.

As for me, I was an Easter orphan. With my mothers kitchen in a disarray of renovation, there was no dinner planned. Thankfully, I have a school-mom. School-mom, or Janet, my Buddhism prof, invited me to have dinner with her and her family. While this easily could have been a guise for me to meet her son, who I am assured is perfect for me, and needs a "good woman in his life", I accepted the offer and made a bean salad. When I arrived, it was fairly clear the intention of son-meeting, but thankfully I was not the only non-family guest attending. In fact, 2 other professors from my department were there, and one staff member from the book store. What a wonderfully odd collection of people to spend Easter with: A professor of Buddhism, a professor of religion and technology, and one of religion and food. I'm sure Jesus would be proud.

Most importantly, I was inadvertently showered with amazing gifts. One of which being an ACCORDION. The story leading up to getting the accordion was pretty funny. She was forced to learn it as a child, but after being in an accident that wrecked her shoulder, playing the accordion was agony, yet she was still forced. This has created some seriously traumatic memories attached to even seeing and accordion. When I mentioned my love for old-time musical instruments, she was elated. Next thing I knew, I was en-route home with an immaculate, mother-of-pearl inlaid lady-sized italian accordion. I can't wait to torment my neighbours with this little jem!!!

2009-03-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

The ups and downs of academia.

I found out today that I am the only person on the reversion list for the PhD program. Meaning, if one of the two people who were sent acceptance letters declines the offer, I apparently will be offered a place.

Its like playing a sick game of dice. Craps, I believe its called, seems a well-suited title.

2009-03-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

photo taken by me! 2008
The simple pleasures.

Existential Break Down

2009-03-09T17:51:00.001-07:00

Coming to that dreary crossroads of life known as graduation.

Finishing an undergrad was anxiety inducing enough, but NOW finishing grad school is creating near blackout conditions. Finishing school with a MA may seem like a grand achievement for some, but in reality, what does it really mean? Right now, it seems to mean more debt and no job.

Perhaps this is somehow connected to the fact I made the clever decision to pursue studies in Religion and Culture rather then devoting my time to something with any sort of practical application to the real world. While I can easily see the connections in almost every facet of life and work, employers are unlikely to agree. Given the chance, I would gladly argue the case for all my cohorts and the value of our degree in today's time. But no one is listening.

Or perhaps my crisis of identity is connected to the slap in the face reality of academic politics. Its generally thought that being at school is akin to living in a social bubble, protected from the harshness of real life, existing in a state of fictitious bliss, away from the politics and drama that dampen every work place. Alas, the truth of the academy is nothing more then a facsimilie of a sham of an untruth. Economic crunch time has dictated the funding for programs, and those programs which are not as valued by the Harper government (read: Arts, Humanities) are getting slashed.

What does this mean then? It means that programs without connections to science or business are losing funding and losing admission spots. It also means that the program I have applied to for my PhD has limited its admission to only 2 spots for the next year. 2 spots which I will not be lucky enough to fill.

So, here I sit in an existential crisis, nearly finished a Masters degree in Religion and Culture, with no options for the foreseeable future except to work at the shitty bar, for shitty money, waiting for next years application deadline to play the academic lottery with my future again.